WHO I WAS

NF & MGK

Lyrics

[Chorus: MGK] Ash and dust Everything I care about enough Burning up (Yeah) (Alright, turn my—uhh, vocals up) Nothing left of who I thought I was (And then just let it run) I was

[Verse: MGK] I'm stuck in traffic, tryna find my way to a home that I've never known On a GPS with no address So I'll follow my heart, but my heart is scattered Like my father's ashes in the back of the rental after I dropped his urn Probably a metaphor for everything I've learned Like how the only love I'll have is gonna crash and burn Or how the poorest I've felt was after the most I've earned The biggest lie told is that no one should be concerned There's gotta be another highway that don't lead to Hell A star to lead me through the darkest night like Christian Bale I hid from God for more than two decades of life And when I came back to the light, He didn't ask me if I'm Christian still Just opened up His arms and embraced me like I'm His Son Erasin' all the archetypes of what people like me become Since I was young, my personality split like serpent's tongue But all the poison in my body still ain't make me numb I lost a best friend and felt all that Cryin' on his open casket while I knelt on that I had a best man picked out for my wedding But instead of getting married, I carried guilt and left all that A vagabond that broke a bond for Boca Raton Who all along regretted he never kept all that I left everything behind but this engagement ring and a frozen heart I'm standin' in the fire to melt all that, yeah

[Chorus: MGK] Ash and dust Everything I care about enough (Burn) Burning up Nothing left of who I thought I was I was

[Bridge: MGK] I, I, I was Yeah (Burn)

[Verse: NF] Lash out Need to take a breath and calm down Try to regulate, don't know how Wasn't taught that in my house Kids of my own, I step back Look at those smiles and feel sad Hope they don't wind up like Dad Stuck in this loop like I am I've... Called you, never heard back After everything we've been through, the good and the bad You're 'bout to throw it all away and overreact Because I overreacted, karma, I guess My temper gets the best of me A part of me that I wish I knew how to get rid of It's the issue I have, my M.O Say I need you and I love you to death Then turn around and go and treat you like you nothin' but trash I know...

[Break: NF] I know I messed that part up, but...

[Outro: NF] I know, I know, I know, I know, I know Yeah, I know Sometimes, I Lash out Need to take a breath and calm down Try to regulate, don't know how Wasn't taught that in my house Kids of my own, I step back Look at those smiles and feel sad Hope they don't wind up like Dad Stuck in this loop like I am I...

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the meaning of the chorus "Ash and dust... Burning up"?

The chorus symbolizes a total self-destruction and loss of identity. "Ash and dust" represents the remains of a former self. The line "Nothing left of who I thought I was" confirms that the artists are going through a painful process of burning down their old personas, beliefs, and attachments to emerge as someone new, even if that process is agonizing.

What personal struggles does NF talk about in his verse?

NF's verse focuses on his internal struggles with anger and self-sabotage. He admits to his "temper gets the best of me," causing him to "lash out" and damage relationships. He reveals a deep-seated fear of passing this toxic behavior down to his children, feeling "stuck in this loop" that he wasn't taught how to escape from in his own childhood.

How does MGK's verse explore themes of faith and redemption?

MGK's verse details a journey from being lost to finding grace. He mentions hiding from God for decades but being met with unconditional acceptance ("He didn't ask me if I'm Christian still / Just opened up His arms"). This moment of redemption erases the negative "archetypes" he felt destined for, offering a glimmer of hope amidst the pain.

What does MGK mean by his "heart is scattered like my father's ashes"?

This is a powerful and raw metaphor for feeling rootless, broken, and without direction. Just as his father's ashes are physically scattered, his emotional and spiritual core ("heart") is fragmented and dispersed. It connects his internal chaos to external loss and trauma, painting a picture of profound dislocation.

How do the two verses from MGK and NF complement each other?

The verses create a powerful duality of shared pain. MGK's verse is a sprawling narrative of external loss—father, best friend, fiancée—and a search for a home he's never known. NF's verse is an intensely focused internal monologue about his own destructive patterns. Together, they show that whether the pain is from external events or internal demons, the result is the same: the burning down of "who I was."

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WHO I WAS Meaning About NF (Wikipedia) About MGK (Wikipedia) All Lyrics

The Deeper Meaning of "WHO I WAS"

An Inferno of Self-Deconstruction

"WHO I WAS" is a raw, collaborative exploration of identity collapse and the painful process of reinvention. The central theme, encapsulated by the chorus's imagery of "Ash and dust," is the deliberate and agonizing destruction of a former self. It's a recognition that everything they once cared about and identified with is "burning up," leaving nothing behind but the potential for a new beginning.

MGK's verse paints a sprawling picture of external and internal chaos. He feels lost, with a heart as "scattered like my father's ashes," a stark metaphor for his fragmented sense of self and home. He recounts a life of loss—love, friendship, and faith—only to find a surprising moment of grace and acceptance. His journey is about standing in the fire of his past traumas to "melt" his frozen heart and start anew.

NF's verse, in contrast, is a tightly coiled internal confession. He battles his own "temper" and destructive patterns, expressing a profound fear of perpetuating a cycle of trauma onto his own children. He feels "stuck in this loop," a prison of his own making. Together, the two artists present a powerful duality: whether the pain is fueled by external loss or internal demons, the outcome is the same—a complete immolation of "who I thought I was."

About The Track

"WHO I WAS" is a powerful and introspective collaboration between NF and Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) from NF's "FEAR" album. The track serves as a brutal examination of self, identity, and the process of shedding one's past. Both artists deliver deeply personal verses that explore themes of loss, regret, self-sabotage, and the hope for redemption. MGK's narrative verse covers immense personal trauma and a surprising turn towards faith, while NF's verse is a raw confession of his internal struggles with anger and the fear of repeating familial patterns. The song's fiery metaphor of burning down one's old self unites their distinct yet complementary perspectives on pain and transformation.