Never Getting Laid

Sabrina Carpenter

Lyrics

[Verse 1] We were so happy, why not mix it up? I'm so at peace, yeah, I can't drink enough No way to know just who you're thinkin' of I just wish you didn't have a mind (Oh)

[Pre-Chorus] That could flip like a switch That could wander and drift To a neighboring bitch When just the other night You said you need me, what gives? How did it come to this? Boy, I know where you live

[Chorus] Baby, I'm not angry Love you just the same I just hope you get agoraphobia some day And all your days are sunny From your windowpane Wish you a lifetime full of happiness And a forever of never getting laid

[Verse 2] I think this schedule could be very nice (Very nice) Call up the boys and crack a Miller Lite, watch the fight Us girls are fun, but stressful, am I right? (Am I right?) And you got a right hand anyway (And only yesterday)

[Pre-Chorus] Was when we called it quits (Called it quits) I was so confident (Confident) 'Til the thought of it hit That any given night You could be using your lips On a girl with big tits Boy, I know where you live

[Chorus] Baby, I'm not angry I love you just the same I just hope you get agoraphobia some day And all your days are sunny (Sunny from your windowpane) From your windowpane I wish you a lifetime full of happiness And a forever of never getting laid (Forever, mm) A forever of never getting laid (Mm, hmm)

[Outro] At the end of the rainbow I hope you find A good whole lot of nothing 'Cause you're still inside And abstinence is just a state of mind

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the meaning of "Never Getting Laid"?

The song is a masterpiece of passive-aggressive revenge. The narrator sarcastically "wishes" her ex a lifetime of happiness, but her true curse is for him to have "a forever of never getting laid." It's about wanting him to be miserable in a very specific, intimate way while pretending to be over it.

What does "I just hope you get agoraphobia some day" mean?

This is a hyperbolic curse. Agoraphobia is the fear of leaving home or being in open spaces. She's wishing that he becomes so terrified of going outside that he's permanently trapped, ensuring he can't meet anyone new and will remain alone, thus fulfilling her primary wish for him to never get laid.

Is this song meant to be taken seriously?

No, the song's tone is highly sarcastic and witty. Lines like "Baby, I'm not angry" are immediately contradicted by the incredibly specific curses she wishes upon him. It's a comedic take on post-breakup rage, using humor and passive-aggression to cope with hurt and jealousy.

Is there an alternate title for "Never Getting Laid"?

Yes, some fans have referred to this unreleased song as "When Did You Get Hot?" based on a misunderstanding of a different unreleased track. However, "Never Getting Laid" is the widely accepted and accurate title for this specific song.

What is the genre of "Never Getting Laid"?

The genre is primarily Pop with a strong Alternative Pop sensibility. The production is clean and upbeat, but the lyrical content is far more cynical, witty, and mature than standard pop, fitting it perfectly within the alt-pop subgenre that Sabrina Carpenter often explores.

Explore More

More Lyrics Alternative Pop Music

The Deeper Meaning of "Never Getting Laid"

The Art of the Passive-Aggressive Curse

Sabrina Carpenter's "Never Getting Laid" is a brilliantly constructed anthem of post-breakup vengeance, disguised as a sweet farewell. The song's deeper meaning lies in its expert use of sarcasm and passive-aggression. On the surface, she claims, "Baby, I'm not angry" and wishes him a "lifetime full of happiness." However, this is immediately and hilariously undercut by the true, specific curses she places upon him.

The core of her revenge is two-fold. First, she hopes he develops "agoraphobia," a crippling anxiety that would trap him indoors, unable to meet new people. This sets the stage for her ultimate curse: "a forever of never getting laid." It’s a genius piece of songwriting that juxtaposes a seemingly kind wish for happiness with a deeply personal and vindictive desire for his romantic and sexual frustration.

The song thrives on this contradiction. She paints a picture of his solitary future—watching fights with the boys while she's out of the picture—and casually notes, "you got a right hand anyway." It's a dismissal of his future romantic prospects, delivered with a smirk. "Never Getting Laid" is not a song about sadness; it's a witty, cathartic, and comically cruel fantasy about getting the last laugh.

About The Track

"Never Getting Laid" is a celebrated unreleased song by American singer Sabrina Carpenter, belonging to the collection of tracks from her scrapped album era, often referred to as "Man's Best Friend." The song has become a fan-favorite for its sharp wit and brilliantly passive-aggressive lyrics. Co-written with Amy Allen and John Ryan, the track is a perfect example of Carpenter's mature and comedic songwriting style, where she sarcastically wishes an ex well while simultaneously cursing him to a life of loneliness and celibacy. Its catchy pop melody contrasts with its cynical theme, making it a standout piece of alternative pop.