FEAR

NF

Lyrics

[Intro] Hello darkness, my old friend (Hello) Knocking at my door again (*Knock knock knock*) Beggin' me to come outsi-ide Let you back into my life Now, usually I'd be strong enough To lock the doors and keep 'em shut But not today, I'm desperate (Desperate) So go ahead and come on in So go ahead and come on in So go ahead and come on in

[Verse] OCD is worse than ever, hands are bleedin', maybe I should take the pills, don't (Woah) Know what's goin' on with me, some days I actually think I might be schizo— (Woah) Phrenic, prolly not, but even writin' this is makin' me begin to spiral, oh, God (Oh, oh, oh) Made a promise to myself I wouldn't let the fear back in, but then I did though (Woah) Told the world that I was sick of runnin', then went back to runnin', what a joke (Woah) Disappointed, yeah, me too, I thought I finally had finally made a breakthrough, guess not (Oh, oh, oh) It's the same song and dance, you've all seen it before Darkness holds out his hand, then we walk through the floor Every decision made isn't mine anymore Like a puppet with strings, I just don't have a choice What's the truth? What's a lie? Help me God, help me Lord Face your fears, dry your eyes Grandma died, what's the point? Lost the keys, lost my hope, lost my will, lost my joy Lost a friend, lost my home, lost my faith, lost my voice (Desperate)

[Chorus] Standing back, watching my mansion burn to ash while I (*Laughter*) Hold the gas can, asking God if He started this fire Is this what You wanted? Is this what You wanted? Make all my hopes and my dreams come to life just to lay them to rest Is this what You wanted? Is this what You wanted? Give me a false sense of peace just to show me what peace really is Is this what You wanted?

[Bridge] On the verge, on the edge (Is this what You wanted?) Petrified, scared to death (Is this what You wanted?) Prayin' to God, desperate (Is this what You wanted, what You wanted?) (Is this what You wanted?) Hangin' on by a thread (Is this what You wanted?) Empty heart, nothin' left (Is this what You wanted?) Breakin' down, spiralin' (Is this what You wanted, what You wanted?) (Is this what You wanted?)

[Chorus] Standing back (Is this what You wanted?) Watching my mansion (Is this what You wanted?) Burn to ash (Is this what You wanted?) while I (Oh, oh, oh) (What You wanted, is this what You wanted?) Hold the gas (Is this what You wanted?) can Asking God if (Is this what You wanted?) He started this fire (Is this what You wanted, what You wanted?)

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the meaning behind the "mansion" in NF's song FEAR?

The "mansion" is a recurring metaphor in NF's music, representing his mind, soul, and life's work. In "FEAR," watching the mansion "burn to ash" symbolizes a complete deconstruction of his success, mental stability, and sense of self. He feels that everything he has built is being destroyed, and he questions if this painful process is part of a divine plan.

Who is the "old friend" NF refers to in the intro?

The "old friend" is a personification of "darkness" or fear itself. By calling it an old friend, NF acknowledges his long and intimate history with his struggles. Despite knowing its destructive nature, his desperation ("not today, I'm desperate") leads him to let it back into his life, setting the stage for the song's internal conflict.

How does "FEAR" connect to NF's other songs?

"FEAR" acts as a thematic continuation of NF's entire discography. It directly references the mansion from his album "The Search" and the theme of running from his problems, which he thought he had overcome in "HOPE." The song shows a relapse into his old patterns of fear and doubt, creating a narrative arc of progress and regression that is central to his music.

What do the OCD references in the lyrics mean?

The line "OCD is worse than ever, hands are bleedin'" is a raw depiction of NF's struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Bleeding hands often result from compulsive washing. By mentioning this, he grounds his abstract emotional and spiritual pain in a tangible, physical reality, highlighting the severity of his mental state and his feeling of being out of control.

What is the spiritual conflict in the song "FEAR"?

The core spiritual conflict is NF's desperate questioning of God's intentions. He asks, "Is this what You wanted?" as he watches his life unravel. He feels that God may have given him success ("hopes and my dreams") and a "false sense of peace" only to tear it all down. It's a raw expression of doubt and a search for purpose within immense suffering.

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The Deeper Meaning of "FEAR"

A Relapse into Darkness and Doubt

"FEAR" is a devastatingly honest portrayal of a mental and spiritual relapse. The song dismantles the triumphant narrative of NF's previous work, showing that the battle against inner demons is not linear. He personifies his fear and darkness as an "old friend" he is too "desperate" to turn away, symbolizing a moment of profound weakness and vulnerability.

The central metaphor—watching his "mansion burn to ash"—is a powerful symbol of deconstruction. The mansion, representing his mind, success, and identity built over years, is being destroyed. NF's most painful question is not whether the fire is happening, but who started it. By holding a gas can and asking God, "Is this what You wanted?", he grapples with the terrifying idea that his suffering might be part of a divine plan he cannot comprehend. This isn't just a crisis of mental health; it's a crisis of faith.

The track is a raw inventory of loss: "lost my hope, lost my will, lost my joy... lost my faith, lost my voice." Each line feels like a confession, stripping away the confident persona to reveal the broken man underneath. "FEAR" serves as a stark reminder that healing is a complex, often cyclical process, and that confronting one's deepest fears can feel like standing in the ruins of your own life, questioning the architect of it all.

About The Track

"FEAR" stands as one of NF's most vulnerable and introspective tracks, serving as a powerful exploration of his ongoing battles with mental health, faith, and the very nature of his own success. In the song, NF confronts a relapse into the darkness he has fought against throughout his career. Using potent metaphors like his "mansion" burning down and personifying fear as a familiar visitor, he articulates a profound sense of loss and confusion. The track is defined by its raw lyrical honesty, detailing struggles with OCD and spiritual doubt, culminating in a desperate plea to understand the purpose behind his pain. It's a cornerstone piece that encapsulates the cyclical nature of his personal journey.